Whatever
by PearlyJammer
Summary: The truth is that I don't really care.....


Title: Whatever  
  
Author: Autumn  
  
Summary: "The truth is that I don't really care."  
  
Rating: PG-13, language  
  
Notes: I'm upset, it's a bit dark. Also, blame Matt for this  
  
one. His beautifully, angsty "Thoughts" put me in the mood to write  
  
this one.  
  
  
  
===============================================================  
  
  
  
Logan isn't going to come back. I know it and Scott knows it  
  
too. Jean isn't going to be back either, she left with Logan.  
  
Whatever. Two narcissists deserve each other; there really isn't  
  
anything to debate about that. I don't care anymore. I just wish  
  
Scott could see it that way.  
  
  
  
He doesn't understand that people like us can never be  
  
happy. I mean, he can kill with a look and I can kill with a touch,  
  
doesn't really qualify either of us for social success. Whatever.  
  
  
  
The looks I get from the rest of the mansion are starting to  
  
piss me off. 'Oh Rogue, how terrible.' 'Poor dear.' 'You'll find  
  
someone better.' No shit sherlock. Logan is pretty much a bastard.  
  
I mean yeah, he did save my life, but not for the right reasons. He  
  
did it to impress Jean; I saw that in my head.  
  
But they are wrong on one account. I won't find someone  
  
better than Logan. I won't find anyone at all. People are afraid of  
  
me, and mutants are terrified. I'm like a piranha in a tank of  
  
goldfish. They're all afraid I'll brush up against them and drain  
  
their precious life away. Again I don't care. Whatever.  
  
  
  
The one thing I did learn from Logan is to only trust  
  
people as far as you can throw them. That way when they fuck you  
  
over at least it isn't a surprise. Take Scott for example, he loved  
  
Jean- a lot, more than his own life probably and look where it's  
  
gotten him. He just sits around now, his body tense with rage and  
  
fighting a Logan simulation in the danger room. He's beaten Logan 12  
  
times now. He's fought Logan 12 times. I think if Scott ever sees  
  
Logan again he'll kill him. Whatever.  
  
  
  
I had a crush on Logan for a brief time, who wouldn't? But  
  
that's not the point. The thing is I knew what I was getting into.  
  
He's a slut, a bastard, and to be blunt a complete dick. Logan comes  
  
first in his book, and that's how it is. Still, he's damn hot, so is  
  
Jean. Whatever.  
  
  
  
I'm getting sick of the stupid little remarks made about what  
  
a fucking Greek tragedy this all is. There isn't any subtext to what  
  
happened, or some great conspiracy, it's simple really. Logan and  
  
Jean are attracted to each other. They acted on that attraction, and  
  
that's it. Scott and I got left behind. Na-na-na hey life goes on.  
  
Don't get me wrong, what they did hurt a lot of people, I'm not  
  
saying that it didn't. The professor was disappointed because his  
  
favorite, Jean, acted in a way that went against his view of her,  
  
perfection, rationality and selflessness. Jean isn't a bad person  
  
for it or anything; she just let lust cloud her judgement for  
  
awhile. Logan, I have less tolerance for. He knew how much Scott  
  
cares for Jean and he chose to gratify his own wants and ignore  
  
Scott's feelings completely. That makes him much guiltier in my  
  
book. Guilt, innocence, justice, lust, love, revenge, whatever.  
  
Despite what many think, I'm not leaving here because I'm so crushed  
  
by Logan's rejection of me, Christ, I never was stupid enough to  
  
assume that he had any romantic intentions toward me. He wanted to  
  
fuck me, yes, but I'm not into his one-night stand type of  
  
lifestyle. It wouldn't have worked for wither or us; Things are  
  
better the way they went down. We got what we wanted, well Scott  
  
didn't, but I think he'll come out of this a stronger and less naive  
  
person for it.  
  
I got the most out of this little experience. I learned how the  
  
world really works, and a recipe for living. You can't change the  
  
inevitable, but you can deal with it in a variety of different ways.  
  
Things happen, you accept them and move on, or you hang onto them  
  
until they consume you in a fire of rage and furry. What's done is  
  
done. Whatever. 


End file.
